Chubby Mary

I don't think I need to explain too much for this one. There is a smoked chub in my bloody mary. It wasn't gross. It may look gross. But it was delicious. The chub gives the mary a smokey accent, while the mary adds a bit of spice to the chub. It doesn't come served with a straw down the throat of the chub; that was my sister's idea, and a good one. So if you're ever in Northern Michigan, go to the Cove in Leland and order the Chubby Mary. I've never had a cocktail/appetizer so unique.

The Jerky Outlet

I have probably passed by at least one hundred times but have never stopped. I have always wanted to, but for some odd reason I never had. "WORLDS 2nd LARGEST SELECTION OF BEEF JERKY" is the archetype Midwest tourist trap. This past weekend, I couldn't resist passing up the M-61 exit off I-75 in Standish, Mich. 

I have to admit, I was a little disappointed when I first walked in the door. I figured if it has the world's second largest selection, it must be chocked full of the saucy dehydrated strips of beef. I didn't think there would be any room in the Mobile filling station for windshield wipers, coffee, cigarettes and other gas station essentials. 

But there were a lot of jerky to choose from, and not just Beef. There was venison, bison, turkey and elk. I went with the Barbeque Buffalo Jerky and it was delightful! My car smelled very gamey for the remainder of the trip back to Bowling Green. 

After my visit I was left with 2 nagging questions:

1. Where is the worlds largest selection of beef jerky at? I want to go. 

2. Do they mean largest selection of beef jerky, or all types jerky?

It was a great little stop. I didn't buy a Jerky Outlet t-shirt, but I may have considered if I saw one. Not making the trip up I-75 anytime soon? No problem, visit www.thejerkyoutlet.com and order some.

A trip down Kielbasa Lane

I finally got around to checking out the annual Polka Festival in Cedar, Michigan. Just like you would expect to find at a polka festival, there was a lot Polish tradition. The town of cedar is small, it has one stop light, one bar and two meat smoke houses. Everybody's name ends in SKI and there is probably more red and white than there is red white and blue - even over 4th of July weekend!

So I found everything that I expected to find at the festival. A big tent with a dancefloor full of 3-stepping senior citizens. It was quite a scene. Are black socks with black sneakers a polish thing? because just about everyone was wearing them. There was lots of beer and even more Polish food. From the entrance of the tent you would of though all those people were bobbing their heads to the polka band. They were'nt. They were pounding down kielbasa!

They had plenty of pierogi, golabki and paczki, but what I went for was the Polish cornerstone: kielbasa and kraut! So did she ...

It was good. I mean, I'm not going to say it was the best I've ever had, but I really felt good about my Polish experience. I figure eating kielbasa at the polka fest in Cedar, Michigan is the closest I can get to eating a kielbasa in Poland without actually going there. Also, polka dancing is simple! I'm no pro, but my secret is to just count to three and kinda skip, hop and hold on to your partner. Kielbasa and lots of beer helps.

PB & Bacon ???

I have told people before, I think anything tastes good with peanut butter on it. And I have also said bacon complements everything. Many of the people who I tell this to don't believe I am serious. They try and create crazy combinations to make me eat my words. Combinations like bacon ice cream, or peanut butter hamburgers. So instead of eating my words, I ate a very interesting find at the Detroit airport Sunday night. A peanut butter honey bacon sandwich on cinnamon bread. On the menu it's called The Exception. 

I mean, if you think about it, peanut butter is just like a peanut sauce, only thicker, creamier. After I explain this rationalization, most people agree that peanut butter really is an easily compatible ingredient. 

And think about bacon. It's salty, smokey and sometimes sweet, and is easily added to just about ANY food item: burgers, salads, guacamole, shrimps, potatoes, gravy, even CHOCOLATE! 

The cinnamon bread worked great with the peanut butter and honey. And the bacon really fit in really well. Do you mind it when a little syrup gets on your bacon? If I'm having pancakes, the bacon is used to get the remaining syrup with, then a biscuit—if I didn't already 86 it with my sausage gravy. 

So the sandwich was interesting. I think it would of been much better if the bacon wasn't so crispy. The soft crunch of the peanuts didn't work to well with the sharp crispy bacon, but oh the after taste! One of my favorite aspects of peanuts is that the taste keeps with you for a while. So on my flight back to Traverse City my mouth tasted like sweet and smokey peanut butter.

So don't be afraid to get crazy with peanut butter and bacon. I say they are 2 very compatible ingredients. 

Check out: The Evolving PB&J

Tofurkey

Gobble! Gobble! - The turkey imitation so often uttered in spirit of Thanksgiving. But what sound does imitation turkey make? I've never come across wild Tofu.

Yesterday at my family's Thanksgiving feast, my vegetarian cousin provided the talk of the table. It wasn't the creamy mashed potatoes, the Swiss grits, the stuffing or the delicately carved turkey which sparked conversation. What everyone was talking about, but not necessarily enjoying, was the turkey without the tryptophan: The Tofurkey.

I solute Tofurkey for providing an avenue for vegetarians to remain traditional, but I do not commend it on taste. If you are not a vegetarian there is really no reason to try the Tofurkey since turkey is a pretty lean to begin with. Sure the Tofurkey has it's advantages; low fat, easy to prep and no nap required post consumption, but that all comes at a tasteless price.

The Tofurkey is a rounded log of tofu with a wild-rice-stuffing running through the center. When the Tofurkey is sliced, there is a round disk of Tofurkey with a hole in the middle filled with the wild-rice-stuffing, not a bad presentation. But the Tofurkey really doesn't taste anything like turkey. The texture is chewier than tofu, but still not even close to the texture of real turkey. It really just tastes like Rice-A-Roni pilaf.

My Aunt said she enjoyed it topped with cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy - the way most Thanksgiving plates turn out. So if you don't eat the bird on Thanksgiving but want to remain somewhat traditional, eat the soy variation with a lot of other flavorful sides that will mask the bland, monotonous taste of Tofurkey.

Mosquito Bandito

It seems the most popular treat this week has got to be blood. Bowling Green is one big Blood Buffet.

These damn mosquitoes are eating us alive. If you can show me one person without a bite I will show you a person who hasn't gone outside in a week. I had to stop wearing sandals because my feet and ankles seem to be a delicacy among the mosquitoes. I also have some pretty tasty flesh on the back of my neck, dang skeeters be drilling there like it's Saudi Arabia.

Itching, Malaria, Yellow Fever, Encephalitis, West Nile, Avian Bird Flu and death.

It's bad enough that Bowling Green is a swamp, a Mosquito cesspool but I've never seen a truck drive around and spray for them at night.

Where I am from, a truck used to come out at night and spray chemicals in the air to manage the swarms of bloodsuckers. According to Kent Reichert, public works supervisor and city worker for 22 and a half years, Bowling Green hasn't sprayed for mosquitoes for quite a while but does use a doughnut type device that gets tossed into standing water when mosquito levels are high. The doughnut defense doesn't seem to be doing a very great job, maybe we should learn from our neighbor, Toledo, and spray for some skeeters.

So if you see me out this weekend, don't ask me what fragrance I'm wearing because the answer is clear. Mosquito repellent baby, a dab behind each ear.

Gator Basket

Yesterday, after watching the Buckeyes beat on Akron, I went over to the Black Swamp Arts Festival to get some lunch from one of the many vendors. As soon as I got there I saw a friend of mine stumbling out of the festival. I told him I was getting some food and he strongly recomended the Gator Basket.

At first, I thought "Oh sweet, I've never had gator before, and how appropriate for the Black Swamp," and then I started having second thoughts, and thought of three solid reasons why I shouldn't get the fried gator bites.

1. I hate alligators. They are cold blooded, cold hearted reptiles that kill people all the time.

2. It probably tastes like a swamp or an aquarium.

3. I am still sour about the Gator's dual NCAA championship victories last year.

And then my good companion opened my eyes. All of the reasons I hade for not eating the gator are the real reasons why I should eat the gator.

I should eat the gator for all the alligator biten victims in the world. I should bite back and not let my prejudices stand in the way of exploring new tastes. So I ordered the Gator Basket.

Sure enough it didn't taste like the Everglades, it was really pretty good. Yeah, most things fried do taste good and I would hate to say it tastes like chicken, but alligator meat really does taste like chicken, chewy chicken.

So eating the gator didn't just taste good, it felt good too.