Winterfest Chili Cookoff 2009

Condensed: a poem for the ill

Hardcore corer

I don't know what this photo illustrates better: the sharpness of the corer or the ripeness of the pear? Harry & David Gift Baskets do have great pears, but I also sliced the shit out of my thumb yesterday packing away my new corer. My mom persuaded me to put Superglue on the cut. It worked. 

Candy Cane Christmas Cookies

My absolute favorite holiday cookies.

I like making them almost as much as I enjoy eating them — mostly because the dough is yummy, but twisting the canes up is also a joy. And aren't the holidays all about joy? And cookies?

Ingredients:

• 1c. shortening (or 1/2 C. butter, 1/2 C. Margarine)
• 1c. sifted powder sugar
• 1tsp. salt
• 2 1/2 c. sifted flour
• 1 egg
• 1 1/2 tsp. almond extract
• 1 tsp. vanilla

Mix together dry ingredients first, then add shortening, egg (scrambled), extract and vanilla. Next, divide dough in halves. Add red food coloring to one half until it is RED, NOT PINK! I suppose you can really use any color you like, but I like traditional red and white candy canes.

Next is the fun part. Roll little cylinders of dough, about 4 inches long and as thick as you like. Then twist red and white strands together and shape into little canes. Place canes on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake in oven at 375F for about 8 minutes. CAREFUL: 8 minutes is too long in some ovens. Keep a close watch and pull cookies out as soon as any browning is detected. Yields 4 dozen.

I have to credit my grandma for this recipe, although I'm not sure where she found it originally.

Burger King's "Flame" Broiled Fragrance

Who's eating burgers!?!?

Burger King has bottled up the fragrance of the flame broiled Whooper, inspiring false hopes and hunger in all who get a whiff, and helping singles score dates to Burger King.

There is a Taco Bell commercial that claims the Bacon Club Chalupa seduces men in the club. But BK has taken it a step further and actually made a hamburger perfume. Now we can smell like fast food without having to eat it! Damn, the King is so far ahead of the curve. I wonder if they also sell Flame w/cheese?

"The WHOOPER sandwich is Americas favorite burger. FLAME by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame broiled meat."    - www.firemeetsdesire.com

I don't think anybody could seriously wear Flame and think that the chicks are digging it — maybe fat chicks. It is most likely a joke, and a very profitable one. I am inches away from ordering a bottle online at rickyshalloween. What the heck, it's only $3.99. Stocking stuffer, perhaps? I wonder how many burgers come in each can?

I said it last year, right after the Whooper Freak Out commercials, and it still holds true: Burger King is on top of the commercial game by utilizing the Web. The Whooper Taste Test was genius, Whooper Freak Out absolutely hilarious, and now this! Go to the Flame Web site, it's really entertaining. Click the spray bottle and prepare to be seduced, by the King.

And all this time I've been showering after hot work in the kitchen. I guess fish and garlic don't smell as pleasant as flame broiled beef, though. What food fragrance will be bottled up next? Bacon? Pumpkin pie? BBQ ribs?

The Greasiest Spoon in Bowling Green: Corner Grill

Oh Corner Grill. 

How you sit so contently in the heart of town; so short and so squat. Your inelegance is your appeal. The soft clanking of stir spoons against coffee cups your anthem. Why fix something that isn't broken? 

The Melting Pot

 I had a really good time at The Melting Pot. I say, DO the FONDUE

The whole fondue concept is great. I like having to work a little for the food. Having to dip your fondue forks before each bite slows down the meal and increases table conversation. 

I didn't know what to expect when I walked in the doors, but knowing that there are over 100 Melting Pot restaurants nationwide, I was expecting it to resemble a Max & Erma's or Chili's look. But the Melting Pot is beautiful! The lighting is a little dark, but the booths are cozy and intimate. The Melting Pot offers a unique dining experience that rivals Bene Hanas Japanese steakhouse (the place where the chef entertains the patrons while he cooks). Fondue is a very sociable form of dining, great for first dates or awkward family dinners.

My date and I got the 2 person entree, which cost about $55. It included:

Cheese fondue (of our choice) with bread, vegetables and sliced apples. I really enjoyed watching our waitress prepare the cheese sauce

Salad (of our choice)

Main course: raw beef, chicken, duck, shrimp and pork. The waitress brings out a hot pot of broth (or oil) and explains how to cook the meat. 

Lots of sauces for dipping

Toledo's (Sylvania) Melting Pot opened earlier this summer. It's located on Monroe Street right off I-75. My waitress told me another one is opening in Ann Arbor. Check the Web site to find a location near you. www.meltingpot.com

Midwest Thanksgiving: turkeys not alone